FWB etiquette. The do's and don'ts you should consider when you're in a casual relations
- Anonymous
- Nov 10, 2017
- 4 min read
There are very fine lines and boundaries that are outlined when you agree to a friends with benefits situation. Some of those lines are unspoken, but it doesn't mean that they don't exist...
1. Be honest about what you want at the very beginning
There's nothing worse than having to shut someone down when they a) tell you that they have feelings for you, or b) when you realise they may be taking things more seriously than you are. It's an awkward conversation to have for both parties, which is why it's best to be upfront before things go too far.
2. Never hook up with someone else when they're around
I don't know about you, but to me, that's just common courtesy. Imagine watching someone you frequently see, over there making out with someone else? Even if you mean nothing to each other, every one get's a little jealous that they're not getting the attention that they're used to.
Unless you guys have discussed it already and you 100% both don't care what the other person does, than proceed with caution.
3. If you're over it, don't be a dick about it
Ghosting, avoiding, and hooking up with their best friend should not be an option when you've got a friends with benefits arrangement. You're adults and if you aren't mature enough to respect the other person and tell them that you're done with it, then you shouldn't be banging in the first place.
4. Just because you're not in a serious relationship, doesn't mean you can't tell them what you do and don't like.
Hair pulling, ass grabbing and back scratching are all beautiful things to some, but maybe not to others. If you that find the guy you're sleeping with tries too hard to talk dirty and it makes you drier than the Sahara Desert, then it's time to speak up. They'll appreciate the feedback, trust me; just make sure that you aren't a bitch about it. That goes for you too, guys.
5. Be sensitive to emotions if they arise
Again, don't make the person feel bad if they develop feelings. Likewise, if you end up falling for your FWB, you would want them to be nice about it if they didn't feel the same way.
There's nothing wrong with emotions and acknowledging them, so don't make out as if it's such a shocker that the dick appointment went so well that they accidentally fell in love. Shit happens to the best of us.
6. Don't treat your FWB differently if you sense/know that they're into you as more than a friend
Tip toe-ing and ignoring them or their feelings will do more harm than good, and if you're fucking someone who you also consider to be a friend, then treating them differently or acting more distant is a sure fire way to ruin the friendship.
7. Don't treat them as a fill in boyfriend or girlfriend
Checking in with your FWB every now and then is a super nice thing to do, especially if you actually are friends. Texting them goodnight and good
morning, inviting them to meet your parents, and doing very relationship-y activities will definitely blur lines and make the situation confusing for the both of you. Unless you're aiming for a relationship with that person in the future, then do not treat them like you're together and continue to fuck around at the same time. Not cool.
8. Don't hook up with their friends or ask them about their friends
We've all been there. The cute girl or guy we met the other day seemed amazing... until you saw their best friend and thought "shit".
Straight up, asking your FWB about one of their friends makes things uncomfortable for everyone, and it's likely that you'll end up without either of them.
... or you could end up in a threesome, but that's a one in a million outcome in these situations. General rule of thumb is not to go there.
9. Don't be afraid to tell them that you've caught feelings
Enough said. Who knows, you could plant a seed or foster the concept of something more serious that they may have already considered. Either way, it's better to tell them so that you know exactly where you stand with them.
10. Don't begin to expect too much from your FWB other than sex
The second you place expectations on someone, you set yourself up for disappointment. He or she could be the sweetest person who treats you really well, but will decline the invite to be your date to your sister's wedding. It's nothing personal, but you can't blame them for not wanting to be introduced as your date and shake your dad's hand with the same hand he fingered you with an hour earlier.
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